{"id":6,"date":"2015-03-12T20:12:16","date_gmt":"2015-03-12T20:12:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/servantspouse.com\/?p=6"},"modified":"2015-03-12T16:09:27","modified_gmt":"2015-03-12T21:09:27","slug":"testing-123","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/servantspouse.com\/?p=6","title":{"rendered":"One Foot Out The Door – The Romance Is Gone"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Written (July, 2013)<\/div>\n
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Today, I watched the movie \u201cMessage in the Bottle\u201d.\u00a0It\u2019s a movie with Kevin Costner\u00a0based on a book written by Nicholas Sparks. It\u2019s been around for years and I\u2019ve\u00a0watched it at least a handful of times. It\u2019s a beautiful love story that can bring tears to\u00a0the eyes of any and all viewers, even after you\u2019ve seen it a handful of times.\u00a0Watching it today my heart was filled with so much joy.\u00a0I could see and feel the love\u00a0between Garret and Teresa, but the joy I felt wasn\u2019t\u00a0their joy, it was my own. The joy\u00a0between my husband and I. For some of you that may be a familiar feeling to watch a\u00a0love story and to see your marriage reflected in their happiness. For me, that was a\u00a0new feeling. Jim and I just celebrated our 17th\u00a0anniversary this past week but you see,\u00a0much of our marriage has been in severe turmoil and\u00a0crisis. For more than a decade\u00a0our marriage was an extreme disaster. Not a few months or even a few years, but\u00a0more than a decade. The last time I remember watching this movie my emotions\u00a0were quite different. I can still remember my heart\u00a0feeling heavy and absent at the\u00a0same time. My stomach was in knots and several parts of my body seemed to shake\u00a0like they were trying to runaway from the mess of my\u00a0life. The emptiness I felt was\u00a0so great and it came from the knowledge of knowing\u00a0I was stuck in a loveless\u00a0marriage; doomed to suffer emotionally for the rest\u00a0of my days with a husband I had\u00a0grown to hate. Trapped in my Catholic beliefs, rejecting divorce, I knew I was\u00a0doomed never to feel or share a love even close to\u00a0the love acted out in the movie. My\u00a0emptiness lead me to tears and I wept for days after the movie knowing I was\u00a0sentenced to a life and marriage void of love, passion, and hope. For so long I had\u00a0been stuck in a bad place, but years later how can\u00a0I watch the same movie (still\u00a0married to the same man) and feel so drastically different? \u00a0Maybe I cheated on my husband and it\u2019s the affair where I found it? Maybe I\u00a0threatened to leave and take the kids and it snapped\u00a0Jim straight? Nope, none of those\u00a0are correct. So what really happened? I prayed and\u00a0I trusted and believed God had a\u00a0plan for me and our marriage. When you are drowning\u00a0in a loveless marriage, no\u00a0matter the reason, our instinct is to bolt! We convince ourselves we deserve to be\u00a0happy NOW and that God would want us to be happy NOW!\u00a0Or to protect our\u00a0children, we convince ourselves that our children deserve\u00a0parents that can get along,\u00a0NOW! Every inch of us is convinced we should run and\u00a0leave this marriage in the rear\u00a0view mirror!\u00a0Praying and trusting God\u2019s plan is not simple and it is a daily struggle. For years I\u00a0have lived in marital unhappiness in exchange for a belief or promise that God knows\u00a0better than I do. Through daily prayer and surrender\u00a0I have learned to be a \u201cservant\u00a0spouse\u201d. My days are spent in service to my husband, my kids, my neighbor, and my\u00a0God. In surrendering my needs to God, He saved our\u00a0marriage. Both my husband and\u00a0I have been transformed. Our marital happiness is now a 12 (on a scale of 1-10)\u00a0when it once was a 1. Our physical intimacy is best\u00a0described as fireworks and it\u00a0once was non-existent. At one point in our marriage the idea of being intimate with\u00a0Jim was so terrible, I truly was unable to because\u00a0it would have been like making love\u00a0to the devil. And our children, are they truly better off that we stayed together? Yes\u00a0they are!! Not only are they currently experiencing a\u00a0happy, loving marriage but now\u00a0they know what unconditional love is. What it looks\u00a0like and feels like and how a\u00a0hopeless marriage can be saved! And as Christians, they now have 1st\u00a0hand\u00a0knowledge of what it means to carry our cross and truly trust God.\u00a0Now Jim and I both have very clear pictures of how God can use our history and pain\u00a0to help other couples persevere, to not give up! We\u00a0know that God\u2019s plan for you and\u00a0your marriage contains more joy and happiness than you can imagine or create on\u00a0your own.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Action:<\/strong> Today, decide to be true to your marriage\u00a0vows. You may not love your\u00a0spouse today or they may not love you but you can decide to trust God to keep his\u00a0promise to your marriage. Decide today to pray for your marriage everyday! \u00a0Everyday, one day at a time!<\/div>\n
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Prayer for Marriage In Crisis: <\/strong><\/div>\n
Heavenly Father, today I feel broken and alone. Our love that was once strong is now\u00a0lost. I do not have the strength to fight for my marriage one more day BUT I trust that\u00a0you do! I give you our marriage to protect and heal; to do with it what only you can.\u00a0Help me to trust in your supernatural ability to save our marriage. Give me the\u00a0strength to believe, if even just for today, that one\u00a0day we will love each other again. I\u00a0believe that you can save us, in your time and in your way, grant me the patience I\u00a0need to persevere while you carry us. Bless any interactions I may have with my\u00a0spouse today and help me to choose to act in love toward them. God Help Me! I trust\u00a0in you! Amen!<\/div>\n
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\"Hope<\/a><\/div>\n

H.O.P.E. (Hang On Pray Everyday) products that inspire can be found at www.hopeinabox.com<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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