It was around our 3rd<\/sup> anniversary that we started counseling. In counseling we learned that loving each other was a decision, not a feeling. That concept was such a struggle for me.<\/p>\n Love is a decision. Love is a decision. Love is a decision. I would say this over and over in my head, day after day, hoping to someday really believe it. The feelings of love had faded long ago and had been replaced with disappointment, rebellion, dislike and sometimes I regret to say, hate. Counseling helped both of us to understand that these new feelings, having replaced our feelings of love, were really the manifestation of our lack of effort toward the decision to love. But why should love be a decision? Wouldn\u2019t \u201creal\u201d love be a feeling? And how do I \u201cdecide\u201d to love when I am overwhelmed with all of those negative feelings toward my spouse? It sure sounds good\u2026\u201dLove is a decision!\u201d but really, how do I do that?<\/p>\n It was about this time that I was reminded about God\u2019s love for us. Think of God, our father in heaven, isn\u2019t his love for us \u201creal\u201d love? He loves us unconditionally and without end. If His love for us was a feeling, He would have abandoned us long ago due to our sinful and selfish ways. Luckily for us His Love is a decision not a feeling, and we, as a married couple, are to imitate Christ. So shouldn\u2019t my love for my husband be a decision and not just a feeling? Isn\u2019t that one way I can imitate Christ?<\/p>\n Now, almost 16 years later, I realize what a pivotal moment that was for me and my marriage. It was in that moment that I realized I could \u201cdecide\u201d to love my husband. But more than that, bigger than that, deciding to love my husband could only be achieved if God was part of the equation. The only way those negative feelings could be transformed into a decision to love was with a supernatural power? The supernatural grace of God!!<\/p>\n Little did I know that my husband\u2019s grandma had planted the seed for us right after our wedding? When we arrived home from our honeymoon, we were greeted with a letter from Grandma Mary. Mary loved to cut things out of the newspaper, type on them with her old typewriter and mail them off to an unsuspecting soul. \u00a0In this letter was a newspaper clipping about Marriage and how it took three\u2026..<\/p>\n Marriage Takes Three (author unknown)<\/strong><\/p>\n I once thought marriage took And not one marriage fails But marriage seldom thrives, In homes where Christ is first, <\/p>\n Marriage does take 3, with the most important part being God. The supernatural grace of God!! It is the supernatural grace of God that helps to sustain a marriage when the other 2 parts (husband and wife) are broken or disjointed!!<\/p>\n So \u201cdeciding\u201d to love my husband with the supernatural grace of God?? Is that really possible?? Talk about a monumental task!! Well, only monumental for me, NOT for God. I am sure you have heard the saying \u201cGod won\u2019t give you anything you cannot handle.\u201d Well, I whole-heartedly disagree!! I believe it is better said, \u201cGod won\u2019t give you anything you cannot handle with His help<\/strong>!!\u201d<\/p>\n Having God as the 3rd<\/sup> person in our marriage means TRUSTING<\/span> God more than I trust myself or my husband. RELYING<\/span> on God to navigate the ups and downs of our marriage. BELIEVING<\/span> that God knows our marriage will survive even when the worldly evidence says otherwise. DECIDING<\/span> to stay in our marriage, no matter what is going on around us and within us, because God\u2019s plan is better than our own! GIVING<\/span> all of our worries, anxieties, doubts and fears to God. LEARNING<\/span> to die of ourselves and imitate Him as a Servant Spouse, especially when we do not \u201cfeel\u201d like it. SEEING<\/span> our spouse as God sees them. ASKING<\/span> God to help us carry our crosses no matter how heavy or long they may be. And lastly, PRAYING<\/span> for patience to persevere any and all trials our marriage might endure.<\/p>\n Over the years our marriage got much worse before it finally got good, very good. Today, I am happy to report that God did save our marriage. Those feelings of disappointment, rebellion, dislike, and sometimes, hate I once had toward my husband have been replaced with feelings of love, admiration, awe, warmth, and so much more. My husband is now compassionate and empathetic and I am more humble and loving. I look forward to everyday with my husband. Today, I can say that my husband and I are truly one and I love him more than I ever thought possible. I think the love is bigger, bolder, and brighter because of the terrible times we trusted God to get us through.<\/p>\n I have had a few people ask why I would share the misery of our marital journey? The simple answer is that I believe that God will save all marriages, if we let him! Marriage is hard and in some cases it is terribly hard. And I believe that our witness might help others see God and His plan at a pivotal point in their marriage\u2026.ultimately strengthening it to withstand any and all things!!!<\/p>\n May God bless you and your marriage today and everyday, and if you cannot see the blessings, may you believe in their existence!<\/p>\n
\nJust two to make a go,
\nBut now I am convinced
\nIt takes the Lord also.<\/p>\n
\nWhere Christ is asked to enter,
\nAs lovers come together
\nWith Jesus at the center.<\/p>\n
\nAnd homes are incomplete,
\nTill He is welcomed there
\nTo help avoid defeat.<\/p>\n
\nIt’s obvious to see,
\nThose unions really work,
\nFor marriage still takes three.<\/p>\n
![\"Z225320787576375518_qHIR5ZRE_f\"](\"http:\/\/servantspouse.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Z225320787576375518_qHIR5ZRE_f.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"